Why I run

Sometimes I wonder why I run. Usually it's during a grueling workout or tough race. I'm struggling and thinking about all the people I know at home, warm in their beds or hanging out watching Saturday morning cartoons with their kids, and I wonder why I'm doing this to myself. Sometimes, though, I'm contemplating the reason I choose to put myself through the discomfort and struggle most humans have gladly left behind. I mean, there are people who suffer daily through no choice of their own, and in my lack of suffering I CHOOSE to inflict myself with pain. I do it on purpose. Why?

This week I realized that I drive more than 700 miles a week on average. 700 miles a week. How crazy is that? All my kids' activities and their school locations, I'm in my car at least 2 hours a day during the week, and double that on the days when all my kids are in school. There's a local running store that uses the tag line, "may your best miles be those covered on foot." Maybe I run to break free from the machine that confines me so much of my life. Maybe it's all a resurfacing of my primal instincts because I've strayed SO far from that natural life.

I'm a mother of three. Two of which I partially homeschool. Some days I would give anything for some uninterrupted adult conversation or that blessed thing called silence. Maybe I run to get away from all the noise and pressure.

I could probably say I run for my health, although I push the envelope a little in the other direction. My doc husband thinks the marathoning might cause more problems than it solves.

I may not truly suffer in my life, but there are plenty of things out of my control. Maybe I run because it is one thing I can.

I know I love the sense of accomplishment and the comradery I feel when I race. Maybe I run to feel like I've done something good with my body and my time.

I like to eat but simultaneously feel pressure to look a certain way. Maybe I run to enjoy the food I love more.

Maybe it's all of these things or none. Maybe I'm just addicted to the endorphins and dopamine release. Whatever it is, I'm very thankful for the ability, and I hope that question never leads to the decision to stop.